Taking that first step In Faith.

"For this very reason make every effort to add to you faith goodness, and to goodness, knowladge." 2 Peter 1:5

For about 6 years now I have been a stay at home mum. I have done all the things that a stay at home mum does. I have been a classroom helper at my stepsons school. I was a scripture teacher until my daughter was born 3 years ago. I have volunteered in various organisations. I have taken my baby daughter to mummy and baby time at the local library. Cleaned and re cleaned my very cluttered house. Driven I don't know how many K's around town dropping children of here there and everywhere. And I have loved every minute of it..... well ok.... nearly every minute of it!! ;)

Then this year I had my little boy Oliver Charles. And I have been faced with the very real prospect that he is our last child. A thought that makes my heart sad. But in facing this reality it has made me wonder if there was more to me then being a mother and a wife. It made me wonder what else God has in store for me. I know he created me for great things and while being a wife and mother is one of my greatest achievements, there has to be more to me. So in October last year, during the woman's conference that we have at our church every year, I was watching the woman stand up in front of us all and talk about how God made them free. Free from the giants that they have been facing in their own lives. It made me stop and look at my life. I could see all the giants that I had swept under the rug so I didn't have to deal with the hard things that were bound to hurt. Giants from my childhood and my teen years and beyond. I am was pretty sure there was giants I couldn't see! It was the last night of the conference that I decided that next year, it would be me. I would be the one to stand up there and tell them how I was free! And silly me..... I thought it would be a walk in the park!! HAHAHAHA.... God has a sense of humour you know!!

The very next day, after I made that choice in my spirit, so began one of the most hardest season of my life!! I woke up with the most awful and debilitating migraine I have ever had! I couldn't even stand up let alone attend church... and on my 25Th birthday!! The day after that I was struck down with what they thought was an extreme case of gastro. After 4 trips to the emergency room that week I was diagnosed with possible gall stones and booked in for an ultrasound in 2 weeks to check. Within the next week I was admitted to hospital to treat an extreme infection in the gall bladder and it was discovered that I had a gall bladder full of sludge and stones that required me to get immediate surgery.... which by the way I am still waiting for 4 months later!

It was while I was stuck in hospital for the week, despairing over the issue and crying because I was feeling so overwhelmed and emotional that God got a hold of me. My mother was the one that he used to get my attention. I had made this choice in my spirit, and so far with everything that was going on.... I hadn't done anything. Mum suggested that I get myself into Life Coaching. A programme that our church runs. I said yes and that weekend I booked into seeing my coach.

I was so so so afraid of what I was signing myself up for. What if this was a painful process... which it is bound to be...? What if I found out things about myself that I didn't like?? What if even after doing coaching I still wasn't free? What if... what if... what if!

I was stepping into the unknown. I was panicking. But the whole time I was panicking, God was holding my hand and telling me to be still. He had it under control. He would protect me! And in order for me to move forward now I had to get my giants under control.

And so In Faith I have stepped out and placed myself in his hands for his molding. It my goodness it has hurt. It has been rewarding as well. But despite all of that, I am being set free and it is because I first stepped out In Faith.