Thank you Jesus!

Raise up a child in the way he should go; and even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

In life there are many things that prove to be a difficult yet rewarding. School... mostly! lol.... sports.... our work.... But for me personally there has been none more rewarding then that of being a mother. Being a mother is without a doubt one the most difficult, enjoyable, hair tearing, tear invoking, laughter inducing, worry inflicting thing I have ever done!! My children are the world to me. They drive me up the wall most days. They make me want to tear my own hair out in anger at times. They can reduce me to frustrated tears on occasion. Yet They are the most precious things in the world. They have good souls and When we are in public they are the most well behaved children.... most of the time! lol. I adore my children.

On Friday night, during family night at our church, my daughter Esther did something that made my mothers heart rejoice in the Lord and my eyes leak a little. It says in the bible that when you raise your children in the ways of the Lord that when they grow they shall never stray to far from the Lord. This is a scripture that my husband, Graeme, and I hold dear and near to our hearts. It is something that we pray over our children.

On Friday night during a prayer at the end, when someone was praying for one of the women there, our daughter sat beside us listening to the prayer and then she agreed with it! She just turned around and started saying 'Thank you Jesus! Thank you Jesus!' I was in shock. At home we say grace, we say prayers when she goes to bed and when she isn't feeling well we pray together and ask Jesus to help her feel better. But this was something that we have yet to teach her! It made my heart sing! It made my spirit soar! My little girl is growing in God! She is only 2 and a half and yet she is starting to recognise that Jesus and God are an important part of her life... of OUR life.

I can't protect her from the problems of life. I can't stop her from seeing the things in life that are sad, awful and anger inducing. I can't stop her from being hurt by people and things around her. I can't hide her away from everything and everyone in an effort to protect her.... believe me I have wanted to try! lol.... But I CAN raise her in the ways of the Lord and teach her that when things happen that turning to the Lord is the only way to cope, the only way to insure that she is receiving the BEST care she could EVER get!

My daughter is a gift from God. Esther Ruth is a gift for the nations. I know this because God has told us! When the time comes to let her go and let God take over, I only hope that I can turn my face to the Heavens and cry... THANK YOU JESUS!

Taking that first step In Faith.

"For this very reason make every effort to add to you faith goodness, and to goodness, knowladge." 2 Peter 1:5

For about 6 years now I have been a stay at home mum. I have done all the things that a stay at home mum does. I have been a classroom helper at my stepsons school. I was a scripture teacher until my daughter was born 3 years ago. I have volunteered in various organisations. I have taken my baby daughter to mummy and baby time at the local library. Cleaned and re cleaned my very cluttered house. Driven I don't know how many K's around town dropping children of here there and everywhere. And I have loved every minute of it..... well ok.... nearly every minute of it!! ;)

Then this year I had my little boy Oliver Charles. And I have been faced with the very real prospect that he is our last child. A thought that makes my heart sad. But in facing this reality it has made me wonder if there was more to me then being a mother and a wife. It made me wonder what else God has in store for me. I know he created me for great things and while being a wife and mother is one of my greatest achievements, there has to be more to me. So in October last year, during the woman's conference that we have at our church every year, I was watching the woman stand up in front of us all and talk about how God made them free. Free from the giants that they have been facing in their own lives. It made me stop and look at my life. I could see all the giants that I had swept under the rug so I didn't have to deal with the hard things that were bound to hurt. Giants from my childhood and my teen years and beyond. I am was pretty sure there was giants I couldn't see! It was the last night of the conference that I decided that next year, it would be me. I would be the one to stand up there and tell them how I was free! And silly me..... I thought it would be a walk in the park!! HAHAHAHA.... God has a sense of humour you know!!

The very next day, after I made that choice in my spirit, so began one of the most hardest season of my life!! I woke up with the most awful and debilitating migraine I have ever had! I couldn't even stand up let alone attend church... and on my 25Th birthday!! The day after that I was struck down with what they thought was an extreme case of gastro. After 4 trips to the emergency room that week I was diagnosed with possible gall stones and booked in for an ultrasound in 2 weeks to check. Within the next week I was admitted to hospital to treat an extreme infection in the gall bladder and it was discovered that I had a gall bladder full of sludge and stones that required me to get immediate surgery.... which by the way I am still waiting for 4 months later!

It was while I was stuck in hospital for the week, despairing over the issue and crying because I was feeling so overwhelmed and emotional that God got a hold of me. My mother was the one that he used to get my attention. I had made this choice in my spirit, and so far with everything that was going on.... I hadn't done anything. Mum suggested that I get myself into Life Coaching. A programme that our church runs. I said yes and that weekend I booked into seeing my coach.

I was so so so afraid of what I was signing myself up for. What if this was a painful process... which it is bound to be...? What if I found out things about myself that I didn't like?? What if even after doing coaching I still wasn't free? What if... what if... what if!

I was stepping into the unknown. I was panicking. But the whole time I was panicking, God was holding my hand and telling me to be still. He had it under control. He would protect me! And in order for me to move forward now I had to get my giants under control.

And so In Faith I have stepped out and placed myself in his hands for his molding. It my goodness it has hurt. It has been rewarding as well. But despite all of that, I am being set free and it is because I first stepped out In Faith.